Hey so we are having a big weekend this weekend in the harness house, because we have a kid turning the big 16., and so this is not our first kid to turn 16.. This is our fifth kid to turn 16. and so uh, it’s always exciting when they have those big mile marker birthdays, which this is one of those, and it brings up a lot of questions, and i think it does in the hearts of all parents.

Is that what am i expected to do for my 16 year old? What do they expect? What do their friends expect um? What do they expect comparison wise to their friends? But what is right to do for your 16 year old and um?

Do we give them a card? Do we give them the keys um? Do we give them opportunity to do these things, and i think that’s what we’re going to talk about today, but we’re preparing for the 16th birthday party. We have lots of things to do and get before this happens. So uh we celebrate big in the harness house.

We don’t celebrate all throughout the year like scott and i grew up not celebrating every day and celebrating our kids. Every day i mean we love them, and you know all that um, but we take christmas and birthdays and holidays. That’S when we celebrate and so we’ll be getting ready for a big family party and we’ll be getting all the stuff together. So um lainey, my daughter, is gon na help me today and so come with us and we’ll see what happens as we prepare for bennett’s birthday, [, Music, ], okay, so lainey and i are going out to get all the stuff for the party today. Oh well, the party is tomorrow, but we’re going today to get all the stuff and uh.

We are going to be getting um cookie, cakes because he doesn’t like cake yeah like he likes cookies. So anyway, we’re getting cookie cakes and we had to get two because in our family one is never enough ever and so, and then he wants catfish we’ll pick that up tomorrow, yeah and then he wants uh cream, soda um because that’s his favorite drink and so Uh so anyway, we’re going to get that we’re going to get some things that he wants. Uh presents wise and you know the big question about turning 16. That mile marker is, do i let my kid drive? Do i get him a car?

Do i you know because everybody else is doing it, and i just think that you have to stop and as a parent, you have to think about that child. I need to think about what that child needs and whether they’re ready for that responsibility and honestly none of our kids did. We just throw the keys to them at 16 and say: hey, take off and have a good time we just didn’t. Do i started driving a month before i turned 17

Yeah and so it’s been, it’s been anywhere from 16 to 17, pretty much with all of them and it was based upon when they were ready and we had to as parents discern that, and so sometimes we weren’t like the most popular um parent, because a lot Of other parents were just saying here: go for it. You’Re 16
But every kid is different and every kid is ready for that responsibility at a different point, and it’s not not right.

I don’t think as a parent just to be pressured by other people around you, what other parents are doing um because then you just set your kid up for failure, and you know the number one cause of death with 15 to 20 year olds is car accidents And so you know we’re not fearful of that, but what we also know is that as parents we have to prepare them and so yeah we may not be the most popular parent um all the time, but we feel like it’s our responsibility, our god-given responsibility to Make sure that we prepare our kids as best we can and accidents still happen, and things still happen even with the best of preparation um. But we want to know that we did all that we can to help prepare them for that, and so take a little bit of that pressure off if you’re, that 16 uh, if you got a 16 year old or whatever any mile marker, really you know of Age, birthdays is that you don’t have to do what everybody else. Does you pray about it and you do what you feel like is right for your child at the right time, and so i hope that takes a little bit of pressure off of you as you’re. Trying to decide what to do with your kids at different stages: pray about it discern what is best for them with wisdom and then take off on it. You may not be their best friend but someday.

They will thank you for the investment that you made in them we’re at the mall and the reason why we’re here is because we are actually going to get some presents for bennett so because he’s not really ready and we’ve discerned he’s not really ready for driving. Just yet we’re working on that like we’re, fixing to get his test and all of that done, um, because he’s not really ready for that. Yet we’re gon na get some other presents, and so bennett is a shoe freak and uh. He really likes his shoes, and so he asked for some vans and um some dress shoes which are hey dudes, like what’s up hey dude they’re from the buckle, [, Music, ]. So, okay, so we’re gon na get some hey dudes and whoever named that and some um, and then he wants like some hoodies and stuff like that now you know that’s not a car um, but it’s true, but he’s just not ready for that and we’re gon Na work towards that – and so i anytime between the 16 to 17, is when we’ll figure all that out and get a car when he’s ready for that.

But we’re going to get a few things that will make him smile, okay, so laney and i have been to the mall and we got the hay dude and we got some other vans and stuff and the sweatshirt. And we got that boy fixed up and that so so now we’re at raising canes, because you know you got ta have sustenance to make it when you’re shopping it’s better than chick-fil-a. In my opinion, oh yes, there’s many people involved. So we’re getting us some raisin canes and we’re heading home here, ew, okay, wow! Are you feeling what yeah?

What would it be like to be an act like to be famous and like a famous vlogger, you know? Oh, my god, that’d be so cool, so we’re just sitting here and raising cain’s parking lot and we’re eating our uh delicious chicken, because lainey loves raising canes um. But i also just thought it would be good to talk about. Why we’re so big about making sure that we don’t give a vehicle and like free reign too early? And you know, with all of our kids they’ve all had wrecks except laney who just started driving um?

It’S not drinks, um, we’ve all had they’ve all had wrecks, and you know, of course, some of that’s just learning and growing, but we there’s nothing like getting that phone call in the middle of the night or like 10 o’clock or whatever. That makes a parent’s heart. Stop when you hear your kids say: i’ve had a wreck and you don’t know exactly how bad it is, and we had that happen a couple of times and a couple of fender benders, but then a couple of pretty good ones and to come around the corner And to see your son, your son’s vehicle uh, his truck on its side when you come around the corner, uh, to pick him up from when he caught you and told you there’s a wreck um your heart just stops and thank goodness he was okay and then, With another, really close one with faith um where she had a pretty bad wreck – and it was just super super disturbing and stayed with her for a long time, and so of course, some of those things are going to happen and we can’t help some of those Things sometimes people are going to hit us, but just being able to prepare our kids without having a timeline that goes. You have to do it like this um. I just think that’s smart and that’s wise and that’s what being a parent is about, and sometimes they’re not going to understand that and um.

You know there’s this whole thing of hate me now love me later, and we hope that they’ll come back around even if they don’t understand exactly why we’re don’t do things on a certain time table that they’ll appreciate that later on, and so so that’s why we Don’T jump to um to do things on a certain timetable, because i’m telling you there are some things that if we can bypass them and not have to go through them, uh we don’t want to, and so you learn from wisdom or consequences and man i want To help our kids learn from wisdom, not from consequences, if that’s possible, so so we’re going to enjoy our chicken so we’re getting ready for the party uh bennett’s out there, cleaning, uh, scott and ian or i’m not sure what they’re doing. I don’t think they’re cleaning. But uh anyway, they have been uh lainey’s, getting everything ready in the kitchen clean the floors. God. Thank you for 16 years that we’ve had the privilege of enjoying bennett on this planet god i pray today’s a special day for him.

God, thank you for what you’re doing in it through him. God. I look forward one chicken [ Music ] and when people anytime, i meet an adult that has been around you every one of them says i just love, bennett he’s so sweet he’s so nice, and that was from your mom. Your mom taught you that, and i appreciate that and i um i it’s exciting – to be able to walk into a room and know that somebody’s gon na compliment your child yeah, that’s very exciting. I appreciate that and then i appreciate your consistency when you put your mind to something that’s right like when i walk in there, and i see you at night studying your bible every night.

That really makes an impact on me because i know when you commit to something: [: Music, ], [ Applause, ]. There we go [, Music, ], [ Applause, ], oh [, Music ]. So we did it. We had the 16th birthday party weekend. It was actually pretty great.

I think he really enjoyed it. I think he felt special and felt um apart, even though he didn’t get a car and he’s not going to get to drive right now. We have things in place that we’re putting in place for him to learn that and to take his test and really be ready for that and to get a car and he’ll be excited about that when it’s time um. But we didn’t have to do that and he still enjoyed everything and we do that. Little thing where we go around and everybody tells something at the party.

Everybody tells something about the person that they love and he just glowed. During that time of hearing, we just all need encouragement. You know, especially as a teenager and especially with all the crazy world stuff that’s going on for all of us. We all need encouragement, and so i think he really connected with that encouragement and having the family and the friends at the party just being able to enjoy ourselves and enjoy him and that’s what this weekend was all about. And so i hope that takes some of the pressure off of you when you’re thinking about milestone birthdays uh, it doesn’t have to look like what everybody else’s looks like, and it really needs to be focused on what that child and that teenager or that person needs In their life and so uh, so it’s time to plan the next birthday, because i got another birthday boy coming up in march, so uh i’ll be going to plan that and i’ll see you next time you

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