So here’s the deal lanie’s got this question that she’s wanting to ask us we’re going to have a a dinner date tonight at our house, because laney is wanting to do something lanny. What exactly you want to do? Can we see, let’s see what exactly we want to do here? [, Music, ], all right, so um, you know we’re like on with the volume of children. We have inevitable things happen and uh we’ve already been kind of prepping and you’re gon na see a little bit of footage of that where we’ve been prepping today, you know getting ready for tonight, but you know our kids kind of go through these transitional moments in Life, where stuff, you know, stuff’s happening so stacey.

What’S what’s happening tonight? Well, we are having um a young man over for dinner young man whoa, yes, okay, young man over for dinner, so that we can get to know him. Why? Because he is interested in dating our daughter, okay, because me and the boys are going to put together some questions that we’re going to ask him when he gets here so that we can, you know, make sure he’s the right fit. You know what i mean for everything, i’m not telling the name yet.

No, that’s going to be a secret reveal. So so one of the one of the questions we thought that we might want to ask this guy when he comes over. What would be one of the questions we could ask bennett um how many times in a week does he poop so like? Is it once a day, maybe twice a day, maybe every two days and we’ve taken bets on it? So what we did is we took bets on, so how often does he use the bathroom?

That’S one of the things. The other thing was what’s another thing that we’re going to ask you me and what do you think we could ask him when he comes out? I don’t know what it is either. What should we ask him uh what age, if, if they were to have children what age? What i think that’s a solid question, so we have stacy on the phone now we’re gon na start talking about the fact that laney’s trying to she’s trying to put together organize a wedding or something i don’t know exactly what’s going on so yeah, so we have Nathaniel coming over, but here’s the thing what you said: that’s what you told us his name was, you said, he’s one of the apostles, and that means, if you marry him, you’ll be an epistle, [, Laughter, ], hey, so here’s.

What happened is we we started putting together questions stacy for we’re gon na, so we can question nathaniel and one of the questions. Daniel bennett’s got one question all the boys and my myself. We all came together and we started figuring out some questions that we could ask, and one was: how often do you poop? Is he a once a day once every few days, because i think he needs to know that laney’s got this really sporadic pooping sort of cycle, which i think will be important? What faith?

What are you doing on here? He literally is videoing this i’m just i’m. Just chilling with stacey just chilling with stacy, so so we’re gon na bennett’s question is: how often does he poop ian’s question? Is you know um? How long are they gon na wait before they have their first child?

Oh, my gosh yeah, listen. You know. Laney has already named the children she she has, that [ Music, ], [, Laughter, ], so stop planting the seeds. We are not doing this okay. Well, then, then, the other we’re gon na turn.

So the other question that we thought of that, what might be interesting or important, is you know what kind of belly button does he host? Is it an inner or an outer? You know we’re trying to figure that out. Does it have lids or not? Well, that’s what i said you know the end.

That’S right, stacy see you’re thinking around along the right lines. That’S what me and the boy’s been working through right here. Just saying hey, you know the enter got the lent deal which the positive that is, if you’re an emergency situation, you need to pull out that lint and warm yourself up cover up with it. You’Ve got it. You got a fire starter yeah.

Now the audi, the pro the problem with the audi, though, is that it just gets chafed. I don’t know that you’ve got it’s got no storage capacity, [ Music, ] yeah. I don’t think those are good questions. I think that if you want to scare him forever he’s not going to be scared, he’s excited, look you’d, see laney spent 17 hours today getting ready. She has listen.

She has lotioned her feet, she’s done she’s done put cream on her legs. I mean i’m telling you right now she smells you ought to smell her. She smells like estee lauder, don’t forget about it. Let’S see what yeah the legs are off limits: anyways, yeah! That’S right!

Lainey put your legs up, it’d be harry baby harry. Have you have you shaved them? They are hairy. She said she hadn’t she’s, not shaved up, it wasn’t my fault. So here’s what’s happened: lainey’s trying to get ready, she’s trying to get ready for this moment of truth, where her bow comes over and everything and so elaine’s going to show ladies going to show them how she can cook see she’s already cooking.

But i want to show you here’s what laney’s done so far. No, this is not my fault. This is what you just want you to look. It’S really. I want you to look it’s going, it’s really see.

I can’t even i can’t even raise it up because it’s so on fire just to be coming off, see it’s just not coming off. She says i’m waiting to put mine on this is laney cooking. Her attempt at cooking she’s, saying this is grilling, hey lenny, say i’m a homemaker now um, no look how i hold the thingy. Look, how i’m holding it, because i need some cooking lessons. That is probably true, though, why are we actually doing it, though you would already know they’ve already watched half of the video.

Are you excited yeah? Did your heart, flutter [, Music ] are there times when you just find yourself filled with excitement space? What do you think, i think we’re gon na? Have some grilled birds see stacey’s, not one that you know yeah she? Don’T she don’t really like this.

I like it. I think you should all learn how to cook. So what are some of the things that we, you know like talk, our kids talk to our kids about doing and etc for stuff like this um? Well, you know definitely on a serious note. We talked to them about not uh, not jumping in real quickly.

No in today’s society, it’s easy to jump into a relationship, super quick, and so we talk to them about um. You know, through social media and through connections through texting and stuff, like that, you can get really close really fast. When you talk to them about. You know that this is not um you’re, not doing life together, you’re just seeing who each other are and if, if you’re compatible and if god has, but we start earlier than that, though so so tonight, wouldn’t even be an issue except for we know a few Things number one: we know this guy first of all, has a relationship with god through jesus right. We know that’s number one and that’s been actually um confirmed by our student pastor.

That’S right, who happens to be our son-in-law and um, we’re kind of like the mafia? Really our family, we we look out for each other, but not like the mafia. In a lot of ways, don’t say that i want everybody to be afraid, no be afraid. No poor. Kid is gon na.

Never, no he’s not he’s a good kid. In fact, we know that he loves jesus um. We know that he’s serious about his relationship with god um and he’s all of that. That stuff is there, or this wouldn’t be a case. Here’S the thing um, the fiddle with it till you figure it out method, is not something that we do yeah whatever.

That means that’s a horrific thought, but i mean a lot of kids roll into these relationships and they’re like they don’t know anything. They should be filling with anything, no fiddling at all, no fiddling they. They don’t know anything about their other kids relationship with god. They don’t know anything about their family, they don’t know anything about yeah and they just kind of roll into it and they’re like oh we’ll figure it out, it’ll be all right, but then you know you can fall in love and it not be right. Mm-Hmm.

You know, and so you have to be careful and and think before you fall. No that’s right. Well, a bunch of people just enter into this thing like a drunk trying to walk a tightrope. You know you might make it, but chances are you’re, not gon na. You know what i’m saying true story, i don’t know where you come up with these things, but it’s you just think about how many drunks you ever seen make it see.

You ever see him. Do that sobriety test that see that laney’s in there cooking she’s really trying to impress him with her cooking skills? Did you hear the stuff break so uh, you know lainey. Did you turn the burgers yeah? Okay, just making sure they’re not burning is anything on fire.

No because that would be bad if it gets a burnt, a burnt burger. You got this, she says it’s like jesus, just like jesus got me so anyway. That’S kind of the scoop with us is that we we do. You know our kids. All of them are going to come to this point, but we we are serious about when you need that they need the person that they’re interested in to be more than attractive or pretty or smart or whatever they have to have a relationship with jesus.

That is a that is a deal ender. There’S no sense in looking past that you know what i’m saying remember in that that movie christine years ago they said you can’t polish, your turd, that’s the truth. You got to know jesus first, i’m telling you right now. I don’t care what else you add to them got to know jesus. I mean what am i supposed to say after that amen right, that’s how we do it around here anyway.

Yes, we always say that you chase after god, and then you look around and see who’s, keeping up, that’s right, and that has been something we’ve told our kids from day. One is go chase after god, with all you’ve got and then look around see who’s. Keeping up that might be, who god is bringing you to chase after better with that person to chase god better? With that never mind, you know what i’m saying: yeah yeah anyway to chase god with you need a partner, that’s right, and if you look over there, looking like this well they’re running, then just keep running run harder. It didn’t matter if they kept up.

Something went wrong in the process. You still got to use discernment. Okay, i’m telling you i don’t care. There are some jesus people are freaky, so it’s not just about knowing jesus. It’S also about having a little bit of you know.

You have to use wisdom and discernment because there’s some good looking people crazy as a cuckoo bird, you know what i’m saying: there’s some jesus people are little. You know what i mean two, so you just got it. Somebody might think we’re kinda. I can’t fathom that. So anyway, but um, so so that’s a couple of things, so tonight’s gon na be a special night.

Our daughter wants to she’s interested in the prospect of can i date and she’s how old, she’s a senior so she’s, 17

17 and that’s something that we we tell our kids too, is that man, you need to wait, and let me tell you why you need to wait, because you don’t want to be all involved with somebody while you’re a little kid. You need to be riding your bicycle and playing barbie and stuff like that, and you can’t do that when you’re trying to play you know patty cake or whatever we don’t have time. For that. You need to be a kid. Let people be a kid.

That’S right for real, i’m, not joking about that y’all you’re, letting your kids listen! Those are you giving your kid a cell phone they’re like five years old, crazy, don’t give them that! Let them let them be a kid! It’S really important. So so that’s the kind of scoop and we’ve done this with all of our kids.

You know and um and we’ve got more to go. Yeah, i mean you know: we live in a shoe y’all, i’m telling you we got kids pouring out of here like a rats off of a ship, i’m talking we’ll edit that out so anyway. That’S all we had that’s our. So that’s just part of this thing. That’S that’s the preparation, but there’s been a lot of conversation, a lot of a lot of conversations about it yeah you can’t just start when they’re a senior in high school.

No, no. You got to talk it through because the whole world’s trying to expedite things and they’re. You know our enemy, here’s! Here’S for real for a second! Not that the rest.

This wasn’t for real, but a couple times i’ve been joking but um our enemy desires for us to do take on a natural desire and take advantage of it and participate in it at the wrong time. For the wrong reasons, and that’s what happens to kids is that they get wrapped up in something that they have a natural desire. Attraction is a natural thing. God gave it to us um, even sexuality, natural thing – god gave it to us, but we get involved with it the wrong time for the wrong reason and and that’s what gets us in trouble, and so so. These are things we you know as a parent you’re supposed to be going, your kids through this stuff.

I don’t we don’t talk to our kids. We love our kids and our kids, love us, but we’re their parents and and so popularity. Sometimes, if you’re wanting to be popular and like be cool with your kids and stuff – and i see a lot of people doing that – that’s a bad idea – you need to be unpopular with your kids, a bunch. You know there should be times they’re like hey. I don’t really like them and that’s.

Okay, later they’ll go shoot man, you saved my life, i mean hope, can say it right, but um anyway, it’s a big deal. That’S how that stuff works. So it’s the day after we had our um great meet and greet and sat down with nate and lainey and nate’s fantastic super awesome kid great family, they’re from the church and just amazing people really to be honest with you, he’s got. I think he feels like he’s got his head on he’s, just really a solid, solid kid and um, so i feel like they did everything right um, one of the things that we ask our kids to do and when i counsel with singles, i tell them this And if you’re a parent, this is something i think that’s really important. Is that um?

You know you teach your kids to follow heart after god and then you look around see who’s keeping up. You know if you’ve got to push pause on your mission in ministry. To find your boyfriend or girlfriend, then, when you get ready to run again, what are you going to do because you met somebody that wasn’t they’re not going to come along with you yeah, and so they did that they honored us by coming and sitting with us Nate was super courageous to come over here, our families, a lot we’re a lot. I wouldn’t want to bring my my myself. I wouldn’t want to bring my friend home to meet my family.

It was fun, though we had a good time, we all laughed and – and it was really really really good, and so we so kind of here’s where we are so so now the the table is set. They are it’s a official they’re sort of talking dating whatever you know, and we talked about boundaries for that and how important it is. We talked about how important it is for them to continue to focus on their mission, because their mission, for god, is still more important than this relationship right now, that’s right and they need to figure out what that is, if you, if, if as a young person, If you don’t get your mission established what you’re going to do for the lord, how you’re going to live for the lord? What’S your purpose in this world and you put all your energy into this relationship, we see kids. Do it all the time kids give up everything and they’re i’m going full sin after this boyfriend, i’ve got to have him and they got to be consumed with each other they’re, always together, they’re caught.

Do we even see the parents program their life around the kid’s boyfriend and what happens is it gives this disproportionate sort of pressure on something that this is? This is kicking tires. This is what it’s like when you walk into a new house that the realtor is showing you because you’re trying to buy one, you know you don’t fall in love with the first thing you walk in front of it happens every once in a while, sometimes or Whatever, but the main focus of this relationship right now is they’re toying with the idea of. Could this person be the person i spend the rest of my life with that’s number one? The second thing is: is they’re they’re dealing with what is my mission and purpose, and i need to know that first, if they don’t there’s going to be unrealistic expectations in the relationship which is not confusing yeah very confusing, very quickly, um, both laney and nate, have Their own personal bible study, they have their own personal mentoring, they have people that are investing in their life.

They both are purposeful in christ. That’S how you do it they’re doing it really. Well, even though they’re young yeah and you know, they’re going to make mistakes um along the way, but they’re going to be pointed towards mission ministry. What does god have me to do my purpose and then, if they can look around wherever it is and see who’s keeping up with them? That may be the person that god has brought them to do ministry better together than they could apart.

That’S right and that’s the goal so so anyway, went really well went really good, so it is what it is, and so they did the right first steps, and this is the first steps of you know. I just recommend if you’ve got teenage kids and they’re trying to figure out what does that look like we push our kids not to start even begin this conversation or thought processes really until they’re about at laney’s age, and we try to go further. Just to be honest with you, i see too many kids that do not have the emotional capacity they don’t have the spiritual grounding or foundation to be in these kind of relationships. You put them in adult-like circumstances to make very adult decisions and they’re still childlike in their thinking, and it really they can make decisions and mistakes in that that time frame of their life that they’re gon na have to live with for the rest of their life. They’Re gon na have to live with through their next relationship.

They’Re gon na live through their marriage and you just set a pattern and we even see adults counseling with adults. I mean we see adults all the time that their cycle of relationship brokenness started when they were really really young way too young to be dating. You know, and there was no boundaries and parents didn’t parent. You know parents are like hey, just throw them together. It’Ll work out, no, it doesn’t work out and it’s not a good idea.

The world is not teaching purity. The world is not teaching um, the wholeness of marriage. The the world is not teaching how important marriage is, and so we have to do that as as parents, and so that’s things that we focus on. There’S things we don’t let them do things, we don’t let them have and we are probably in the minority of so many parents, but we feel like that’s. Our responsibility and goal is to get our kids established and set up so that when they become adults, they’re not walking into adulthood with incredible scars, they’re not walking into adulthood marred and broken with a broken perspective.

So so that’s it, but they did it good. It was really really good, so so anyway, it was a fun time and we and nate even liked our questions. You know we didn’t ask all those questions. Laney would have died. So there were a few yeah.

There were a few questions, but he did it’s really good. So anyway, we’ll see how this unfolds we’ll talk about it. More [, Music, ],

Read More: Scott Harness Podcast – #007 – Greatest Problems in Parenting (tips and advice!)

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